BiPolar Disorder 1 & 2

BiPolar Disorder 1

What is the dark shadow side of my soul?

I perceive it as a dark presence hovering just above and behind my shoulders. It gives me the creeps.

What I’m afraid of is the darkness within me – the dark part of my soul. The darkness that lurks just below the surface.

The darkness is selfishness. But it’s also madness. An uncontrollable squeal of evil I must suppress at all costs.

I accept the dark side of my soul. Though I choose to live in the light, I acknowledge the dark side of my soul. I listen to learn what it will teach me.

Insane madness is easiest to control by remaining calm at all times; by denying hysteria and rage. I have learned to control my inner demon, but I would rather make peace with it.

Better yet, send it away forever.

 

BiPolar Disorder 2

What is the good of this little pink pill? It keeps me on an even keel. It melts my moods into a slurry of good and bad, all watered down and safe.

It takes away the rough edges of my personality. The highs and lows. The aha moments and the omg moments.

It makes me mellow, like a nice glass of wine. I don’t become upset any more. I just float along on a cloud.

What is the bad of this little pink pill? It takes away my creative edge. Oh, I still create, but it feels false. Words, paint, music – all succumb to the pink pill’s magic.

I never yell. I never become flush with anger. I rarely cry. I laugh even less often. But I never have an outburst. That’s a mercy.

I can’t even remember the last outburst. It was a long time ago. Years ago. Not since I started the little pink pill.

 

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